[ It's too obvious that Rezo is deliberately attempting to be considerate of his grandson's feelings. The image-conscious part of Zel wants to abort this conversation. He rubs the back of his neck, an unconscious nervous habit. ]
I've found the time to practice, in-between... everything.
[ Adventuring, training.
Looking for a cure because he's too stubborn to accept that there isn't one. No need to say it aloud and strain the mood, is there?
Zel folds his arms. He is not going to be awkward about this, damn it. ]
Can't play in front of Lina or the others without getting bombarded with "requests". Demands, more like...
[ Zel returns to his too-cool-for-this persona. It's a comforting skin to wear: a defense against the vulnerability of sharing aspects of his life with Rezo and candidly having affection for his friends.
It's a weak smokescreen, but if all of their conversations were as raw as earlier, it'd be too much to bear.
The guilt that comes from a sense of grudging responsibility -- dogged thing that is! --nags at him. There is much yet to do, it says. He's probably well enough to accomplish something of use beyond insignificant chatter and playing music.
He still can't bring himself to say, "well, anyway," and change the subject.
It's a plain fact that without rest of body and mind, you break down. His chimera body is no exception. It's proved as much. And Rezo's still overworked.
So, then... it's fine. If it's selfish, it's selfish. He's not a knight in shining armor. He's only doing his best. ]
They're a lively bunch. But, you know that already.
[ Chaotic, annoying, a pain in the ass... and he wouldn't have it any other way. ]
[ Right now, Rezo doesn't mind the wannabe cool guy act. It's not like it's entirely a post-chimera-trauma development, and he has to remind himself not to smile too widely over it.
A soft half-laugh at Zelgadis's talk of his friends, however, should be permissible. ]
So I've observed.
[ On the whole, Rezo actually appreciates Zelgadis's friends. Partly because they're evidence that Zelgadis's life hasn't fully diminished into a wasteland of lonesome suffering, and partly because at the end of the day Lina and her companions have repeatedly saved the world that Rezo painfully wants to see.
This does not mean that he was not frustrated by them at various points in various ways- whether it's because they would not cooperate and give him the accursed Philosopher's Stone he has been waiting for over a century for this or because they were trying to get him to cooperate with their demands while he was half-dazed from the Hellmaster's Jar and busy trying to keep the Dark Lord under wraps. Sometimes emotions don't always mesh with what's objectively right or wrong.
But still, Rezo is grateful. ]
Pokota has mentioned that you're especially close to Princess Amelia these days.
[ Yes, Rezo's in contact with Pokota, which is as baffling to him as it probably is to Zelgadis. All Rezo can say is that while Pokota's temper may be short, so is the amount of time he'll hold onto a grudge. No matter how grievous and permanent the harm that was done. ]
[ There's a brief flash of a ??? expression on Rezo's face at the outburst. ]
Pokota informed me that you had been knighted by Prince Philionel and often work with Princess Amelia in an official or semi-official capacity. He says that the two of you get along quite well.
[ He'd also sketched out a broad outline of how the three of them had first met properly and fought against a magic tank.
Having reassured(?) Zelgadis that Pokota is not spreading salacious rumors about Zelgadis and Amelia, Rezo adds, quite sincerely: ]
I'm glad that you two are friends.
[ They hadn't interacted much but Rezo had observed that Amelia was a compassionate and genuine young woman, and with her status she doubtless has enough sway to help mitigate the ostracization Zelgadis might otherwise face as a chimera mercenary. All in all, an excellent person for Zelgadis to be friends with. ]
[ He's certainly not kidding Rezo, if the warm smile he gives Zelgadis is any indication. ]
She's fortunate to have someone kindhearted to look out for her.
[ Okay, so Rezo might be pushing his luck here. Poke-the-tsundere is a game that's hard to resist, alright?
In the back of Rezo's mind, some gears are turning- still mulling over Zelgadis's explosive reaction. In theory it's not uncharacteristic that he would bridle at the realization that others were talking about him behind his back (Zelgadis can be a tad insecure) or noticing that he's close to another person. (And thus undermining the cool loner persona that Zelgadis has.)
However he'd very specifically insisted that he and Amelia were friends. Meaning he'd thought Pokota had said they were close in a different way.
Rezo's... concerned, honestly, but that concern will be getting tucked away in a little box and placed on a shelf in his mind in a secluded corner. Saying anything about it would certainly be a poke too far. ]
Is she really that trouble prone? She hardly seemed worse than the rest of you.
[ Rezo has done many things wrong, but nobody could hold playing poke-the-tsundere against him. He wasn't kidding when he said he could be even more embarrassing! Zel mutters something noncommittal, neither confirming or denying the kindheartedness allegations.
He allows himself a small smile. Rezo can't see it, so he'll never know!!
Zel clicks his tongue at "hardly seemed worse than the rest of you". They're all trouble-prone goofballs. He's, uh. Well. He's...
...Not much better, huh? ]
She's naive and overzealous. Always getting carried away and in over her head because she thinks with her heart instead of her brain. Our foes aren't going to politely sit and listen while she's admonishing them in the name of justice.
[ Idealistic, Rezo thinks. It's a characteristic that inspires admiration and affection, but also the worry that Zelgadis admits to. Rezo understands the feeling more than Zelgadis would likely suspect.
It's nice to hear some of what Zelgadis thinks, rather than try and pick up on it via observation or from what mutual acquaintances might mention offhand. They haven't really properly spoken about mundane personal matters since-
Well. It always goes back to the moment Zelgadis was transformed.
But at least in this moment they're able to talk, and Rezo feels safe enough to indulge in idle, personal curiosity. ]
However did the two of you meet?
[ Pokota hadn't known that part, after all, though Rezo had surmised that the two of them had met through Lina Inverse during the intervening years between his first death and his temporary revival. He's discovered quite a lot of things happened in that timeframe and he's still struggling to catch up. ]
It's going to take time before this stops catching Zelgadis off guard. But as long as Rezo continues to extend an olive branch, Zel will keep taking it. ]
It was back when I was investigating your supposed revival; what turned out to be your copy. I'd parted ways with Lina and Gourry after Shabranigdu's defeat, only to stumble across them once more while confronting Eris. But this time, they had Amelia in tow. In terms of first impressions, it could have gone better. She thought I looked 'suspicious'.
[ Relaying this isn't about slinging guilt. It's the truth of the matter, for one.
It would be an insult to them both to try and ignore the elephant in the room. Now that Rezo is willing to listen, Zel wants him to understand how far reaching the consequences of his actions are. How this stone body colors every interaction he'll ever have. ]
She was a lot more immature then. I thought she was getting underfoot more than anything else. Trying to make dramatic entrances and falling flat on her face, being knocked around by monsters... I didn't have a choice but to keep an eye on her.
[ Someone like that, you just can't help wanting to look out for. ]
It turned out that we didn't make too badly of a team. When I ran into her again in Xoana, we were briefly at odds -- a clash of interests. But after that...
[ Damn it. Of course it would have been the incident with Rezo's copy. That particular incident hits Rezo the worse for him having so little direct involvement in it- when they'd told him what became of Sairaag and Eris, it had been an utter shock. If Zelgadis wanted to sling any guilt with any of Rezo's past crimes, this would be a particularly heavy one to bludgeon him with.
However, Zelgadis goes over it briefly, in a matter of fact way that is ultimately easier than any coddling or tiptoeing around the subject would be, and the tension in Rezo's chest eases somewhat. And it really is good to get to hear the story of how Zelgadis met his friend from Zelgadis himself, rather than piecing it together from what other people mention offhand.
(He considers pointing out that Zelgadis also has a thing for dramatic entrances- at least, last Rezo had checked- but kindly refrains.) ]
And this was... [ Give him a moment, Rezo's not good at keeping track of time. ] ...Three years ago, was it?
[ There have been so many major life incidents in such a brief span of time that even Zel's having trouble keeping up. He's having one of them right now! God forbid a week go by uneventfully in this world. ]
Speaking of back then... Zanaffar was your plan for dealing with Shabranigdu, huh?
[ It's not Sairaag's destruction nor the sad and twisted tale of Eris and the copy that Zel wants to dwell on.
He wants to hear more about what had proven to be evidence in favor of the theory Lina left him with before they'd first parted ways: that Shabranigdu had come to influence Rezo's actions more and more as time wore on.
He had managed to come up with a countermeasure for his own insane plan. He hadn't intended to leave the world to burn. ]
I think it's fifty-fifty whether or not that's more or less irresponsible than leaving it up to Lina.
[ And if Lina were here to hear that joke, he imagines he'd be taking a relatively deserved Dragon Slave to the face. It's barely even an appropriate subject to be joking about, much less with Rezo himself. To that he tells himself, so what. He wants to have one conversation with his grandfather that stays somewhat light, sue him. ]
[ It's a shame that Zelgadis wants to hear more about this, because Rezo does not want to talk about it. But he also doesn't want to risk re-alienating Zel all over again by rejecting the conversation. So he tilts his head and tries to think back, to come up with a coherent narrative for what was essentially a goddamn demon-induced manic episode. ]
It was my primary strategy, yes. I had a few other contingencies based on my research into the Kōma War creations of the elves and holy dragons, but the Zanaffar was the most viable one. Or, it would have been, if I hadn't been mistaken about the nature of my quarry.
[ He absently sets a hand over his eyes. He can almost remember what it was like when they were unsealed. Almost- it was the kind of intensity that doesn't seem real once it's over. ]
Lina Inverse has proven to be the more reliable counteroffensive.
[ If there's anything Rezo learned from that debacle, it's probably not "don't summon dark lords" but "don't underestimate Lina Inverse." Speaking of which... ]
I had heard of her before she crossed paths with the Philosopher's Stone, you know. Not many people earn a color from the Sorcerer's Guild as young as she did, nor go on to earn a reputation as a bandit killer. Still... she was only a little girl. Surrounded on all sides by formidable enemies, caught up in a plot to revive the dark lord. In such precarious circumstances, anyone would prefer to pass their troubles off to an experienced sage. Or so I assumed.
[ Zel notices the absentminded gesture. To come so far, thinking you're on the cusp of achieving what you've always wanted, only to be so terribly mistaken...
He's not unable to sympathize.
If he's not careful, he'll sympathize more than he'd like.
In the end, Zel does laugh, but only a little. After all: ]
Lina took me by surprise, too. She can act like an idiot, but the reality is that she's as shrewd and brazen as anyone's ever been.
[ Shrewd, brazen, selfish, temperamental, and -- kind.
Better at understanding people than he's ever been. Ever will be. ]
You owe her more than you'll ever know.
[ Zel inhales like he's got more to say, though it takes him a second to find the nerve. ]
She had a theory. It was that Shabranigdu had gradually taken control of you. Naturally, I wasn't eager to believe it...
[ His eyebrows lift briefly at “You owe her more than you’ll ever know.” ]
I may be more aware than you think.
[ It’s not as if he’s unaware that Lina has saved the world from him, twice. Really, if he seems ungrateful, surely it’s because he has no reasonable way of repaying such a debt. Besides possibly leaving her a good share of his money and property if he ever properly dies.
(Though he hasn’t even gotten around to reclaiming most of the things he’d accumulated over the course of a century plus lifespan, not withstanding the amount that had been destroyed by his copy…)
And then the next words, both spoken and implied, weigh down the atmosphere. ]
…
[ But now you want to believe it?
The thing is- Rezo knows how mind control magic works. He's used it before, as Zelgadis can attest. The victim goes into a trance, their conscious mind sleeps while their body acts according to the spell's programming, and when they snap out of it they have little to no memory of what they'd done.
This isn't the case with Rezo. He can recall everything he did and why. And because of that, he can’t honestly disown any of his past actions.
He could explain all this to Zelgadis. He could also lie, claim to have been a helpless puppet, and try to manipulate his grandson into once again pledging his loyalty. He’s starting to think he might even have a shot at it.
It would be immensely pathetic. And Zelgadis objectively deserves better.
In the end Rezo, being Rezo, elects to explain nothing. ]
…There are a lot of unknowns when it comes to shard carriers. I believe you should make your own judgement on the matter. [ Ultimately, it’s up to Zelgadis to decide whether or not he wants to let Rezo off the hook. ]
[ Obvious hypocrisy aside (pay no attention, move along!), he can tell he's going to need to actually explain his thought process in even bringing up this landmine of a conversation topic. Delightful. ]
...I'm not saying I'm naive enough to think you're just a victim. I'm saying that, if Lina hadn't given me something think about, maybe I wouldn't be here trying so hard to understand you.
[ Then again, maybe he would be. Maybe all he's doing is laying the blame for his own softheartedness at Lina's feet... ]
I'll never know the kind of person you'd have been without that shard. But I don't know who I'd be if I were the one with that burden.
[ Zelgadis doesn't give Rezo time to point out the hypocrisy, but that doesn't stop Rezo from noticing it! And he doesn't bother to keep a straight face either, inconsiderate man that Rezo is.
He'd really prefer to discuss Zelgadis's gloominess than the landmine that Zelgadis has planted but, well. Here they are. ]
I can't answer those questions either.
[ It's just a pity Rezo has so little that's useful to say on the matter. As he'd said, there are a lot of unknowns. He'd been able to observe Shabranigdu's effect on others when he was within the Hellmaster's Jar, and compare the changes in their behavior to his own, but there was very little in the way of tangible data.
And more to the point, Lord Ruby Eye has always been within him. Always there, behind the same seal that Rezo himself felt trapped by. If Rezo hadn't been a vessel, hadn't been cursed, the course of his life would have been altered so greatly that it's unimaginable- all he can say is that he wouldn't be standing here now.
It likely all would have been much better but. At least he's had a few bright moments. ]
...Perhaps the next time I see Lina Inverse I should thank her?
[ "Hey thanks for telling my grandson I might not be 100% evil, we had a very emotional discussion and semi-reconciliation where Zelgadis bared his tender heart." Yeah Zelgadis would love it if Rezo went around talking about that. ]
[ What's so amusing, he would like to grumble, except he knows that the answer is that he is just as gloomy as Rezo, if not more so. Listen, the difference is... he's practically made it into an art form. Nobody is better at being gloomy than he is. He can take pride in that. It's cool, you know. Girls are into that kind of thing. Supposedly.
Questions without answers are such a bother. The sort of thing that gloomy people like himself will endlessly ruminate on when given the chance.
That's one of the benefits to hanging out with his chaotic friends. They don't give him the opportunity to brood the way he'd like to.
Speaking of Lina, Zelgadis takes the time to picture how this interaction would go down and quickly changes his tune. ]
Never mind. That would be awful.
[ As if her ego needs it! As if he needs the teasing that would ensue! ]
Don't thank her for anything, actually. Give her an inch and she'll take a mile and then some.
[ And that makes Rezo laugh, a quiet little chuckle but a proper laugh nonetheless. ]
Very well, I'll hold my tongue. [ God knows the last thing Zel needs is his grandfather and Lina potentially joining forces to mess with him. His brooding skills might get all rusty. And then how would he make all the girls swoon? ] Although she has a way of discerning these matters on her own.
[ Really, she's inordinately perceptive when it comes to other people. At least, in Rezo's experience, as someone who considers himself- and sometimes prides himself- on being someone most people find difficult to read, who nevertheless has had Lina repeatedly deduce the true nature of his past schemes. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
I've found the time to practice, in-between... everything.
[ Adventuring, training.
Looking for a cure because he's too stubborn to accept that there isn't one. No need to say it aloud and strain the mood, is there?
Zel folds his arms. He is not going to be awkward about this, damn it. ]
Can't play in front of Lina or the others without getting bombarded with "requests". Demands, more like...
[ Zel returns to his too-cool-for-this persona. It's a comforting skin to wear: a defense against the vulnerability of sharing aspects of his life with Rezo and candidly having affection for his friends.
It's a weak smokescreen, but if all of their conversations were as raw as earlier, it'd be too much to bear.
The guilt that comes from a sense of grudging responsibility -- dogged thing that is! --nags at him. There is much yet to do, it says. He's probably well enough to accomplish something of use beyond insignificant chatter and playing music.
He still can't bring himself to say, "well, anyway," and change the subject.
It's a plain fact that without rest of body and mind, you break down. His chimera body is no exception. It's proved as much. And Rezo's still overworked.
So, then... it's fine. If it's selfish, it's selfish. He's not a knight in shining armor. He's only doing his best. ]
They're a lively bunch. But, you know that already.
[ Chaotic, annoying, a pain in the ass... and he wouldn't have it any other way. ]
no subject
A soft half-laugh at Zelgadis's talk of his friends, however, should be permissible. ]
So I've observed.
[ On the whole, Rezo actually appreciates Zelgadis's friends. Partly because they're evidence that Zelgadis's life hasn't fully diminished into a wasteland of lonesome suffering, and partly because at the end of the day Lina and her companions have repeatedly saved the world that Rezo painfully wants to see.
This does not mean that he was not frustrated by them at various points in various ways- whether it's because they would not cooperate and give him the accursed Philosopher's Stone he has been waiting for over a century for this or because they were trying to get him to cooperate with their demands while he was half-dazed from the Hellmaster's Jar and busy trying to keep the Dark Lord under wraps. Sometimes emotions don't always mesh with what's objectively right or wrong.
But still, Rezo is grateful. ]
Pokota has mentioned that you're especially close to Princess Amelia these days.
[ Yes, Rezo's in contact with Pokota, which is as baffling to him as it probably is to Zelgadis. All Rezo can say is that while Pokota's temper may be short, so is the amount of time he'll hold onto a grudge. No matter how grievous and permanent the harm that was done. ]
no subject
This is betrayal! And worse, what does that damned stuffed animal know. ]
That little...!
[ Doesn't he have a country to be rebuilding?! He's gonna wring him by the ears next time he sees him!! ]
I don't know what he's been telling you, but Amelia and I are friends.
[ Friends. Friendly friends of a platonic sort. This is his story and he's sticking to it. ]
no subject
Pokota informed me that you had been knighted by Prince Philionel and often work with Princess Amelia in an official or semi-official capacity. He says that the two of you get along quite well.
[ He'd also sketched out a broad outline of how the three of them had first met properly and fought against a magic tank.
Having reassured(?) Zelgadis that Pokota is not spreading salacious rumors about Zelgadis and Amelia, Rezo adds, quite sincerely: ]
I'm glad that you two are friends.
[ They hadn't interacted much but Rezo had observed that Amelia was a compassionate and genuine young woman, and with her status she doubtless has enough sway to help mitigate the ostracization Zelgadis might otherwise face as a chimera mercenary. All in all, an excellent person for Zelgadis to be friends with. ]
no subject
He's not even surprised at himself. This basically always happens. It's the universe's decree.
What does come as a surprise is Rezo's remark. The earnestness of it sets him off kilter.
(He supposes it must help Rezo's estimation of Amelia that she wasn't around for the Philosopher's Stone debacle, but refrains from saying as much.) ]
...Amelia really can't be left to her own devices. Someone's got to keep her out of trouble.
[ Standard tsundere deflection! Who does he think he's kidding? ]
no subject
She's fortunate to have someone kindhearted to look out for her.
[ Okay, so Rezo might be pushing his luck here. Poke-the-tsundere is a game that's hard to resist, alright?
In the back of Rezo's mind, some gears are turning- still mulling over Zelgadis's explosive reaction. In theory it's not uncharacteristic that he would bridle at the realization that others were talking about him behind his back (Zelgadis can be a tad insecure) or noticing that he's close to another person. (And thus undermining the cool loner persona that Zelgadis has.)
However he'd very specifically insisted that he and Amelia were friends. Meaning he'd thought Pokota had said they were close in a different way.
Rezo's... concerned, honestly, but that concern will be getting tucked away in a little box and placed on a shelf in his mind in a secluded corner. Saying anything about it would certainly be a poke too far. ]
Is she really that trouble prone? She hardly seemed worse than the rest of you.
no subject
He allows himself a small smile. Rezo can't see it, so he'll never know!!
Zel clicks his tongue at "hardly seemed worse than the rest of you". They're all trouble-prone goofballs. He's, uh. Well. He's...
...Not much better, huh? ]
She's naive and overzealous. Always getting carried away and in over her head because she thinks with her heart instead of her brain. Our foes aren't going to politely sit and listen while she's admonishing them in the name of justice.
[ He sighs. ]
It's impossible not to worry about her.
no subject
It's nice to hear some of what Zelgadis thinks, rather than try and pick up on it via observation or from what mutual acquaintances might mention offhand. They haven't really properly spoken about mundane personal matters since-
Well. It always goes back to the moment Zelgadis was transformed.
But at least in this moment they're able to talk, and Rezo feels safe enough to indulge in idle, personal curiosity. ]
However did the two of you meet?
[ Pokota hadn't known that part, after all, though Rezo had surmised that the two of them had met through Lina Inverse during the intervening years between his first death and his temporary revival. He's discovered quite a lot of things happened in that timeframe and he's still struggling to catch up. ]
no subject
It's going to take time before this stops catching Zelgadis off guard. But as long as Rezo continues to extend an olive branch, Zel will keep taking it. ]
It was back when I was investigating your supposed revival; what turned out to be your copy. I'd parted ways with Lina and Gourry after Shabranigdu's defeat, only to stumble across them once more while confronting Eris. But this time, they had Amelia in tow. In terms of first impressions, it could have gone better. She thought I looked 'suspicious'.
[ Relaying this isn't about slinging guilt. It's the truth of the matter, for one.
It would be an insult to them both to try and ignore the elephant in the room. Now that Rezo is willing to listen, Zel wants him to understand how far reaching the consequences of his actions are. How this stone body colors every interaction he'll ever have. ]
She was a lot more immature then. I thought she was getting underfoot more than anything else. Trying to make dramatic entrances and falling flat on her face, being knocked around by monsters... I didn't have a choice but to keep an eye on her.
[ Someone like that, you just can't help wanting to look out for. ]
It turned out that we didn't make too badly of a team. When I ran into her again in Xoana, we were briefly at odds -- a clash of interests. But after that...
[ He shrugs. ]
Some people have a way of sticking around.
a wizard is never late etc
However, Zelgadis goes over it briefly, in a matter of fact way that is ultimately easier than any coddling or tiptoeing around the subject would be, and the tension in Rezo's chest eases somewhat. And it really is good to get to hear the story of how Zelgadis met his friend from Zelgadis himself, rather than piecing it together from what other people mention offhand.
(He considers pointing out that Zelgadis also has a thing for dramatic entrances- at least, last Rezo had checked- but kindly refrains.) ]
And this was... [ Give him a moment, Rezo's not good at keeping track of time. ] ...Three years ago, was it?
no subject
[ There have been so many major life incidents in such a brief span of time that even Zel's having trouble keeping up. He's having one of them right now! God forbid a week go by uneventfully in this world. ]
Speaking of back then... Zanaffar was your plan for dealing with Shabranigdu, huh?
[ It's not Sairaag's destruction nor the sad and twisted tale of Eris and the copy that Zel wants to dwell on.
He wants to hear more about what had proven to be evidence in favor of the theory Lina left him with before they'd first parted ways: that Shabranigdu had come to influence Rezo's actions more and more as time wore on.
He had managed to come up with a countermeasure for his own insane plan. He hadn't intended to leave the world to burn. ]
I think it's fifty-fifty whether or not that's more or less irresponsible than leaving it up to Lina.
[ And if Lina were here to hear that joke, he imagines he'd be taking a relatively deserved Dragon Slave to the face. It's barely even an appropriate subject to be joking about, much less with Rezo himself. To that he tells himself, so what. He wants to have one conversation with his grandfather that stays somewhat light, sue him. ]
no subject
It was my primary strategy, yes. I had a few other contingencies based on my research into the Kōma War creations of the elves and holy dragons, but the Zanaffar was the most viable one. Or, it would have been, if I hadn't been mistaken about the nature of my quarry.
[ He absently sets a hand over his eyes. He can almost remember what it was like when they were unsealed. Almost- it was the kind of intensity that doesn't seem real once it's over. ]
Lina Inverse has proven to be the more reliable counteroffensive.
[ If there's anything Rezo learned from that debacle, it's probably not "don't summon dark lords" but "don't underestimate Lina Inverse." Speaking of which... ]
I had heard of her before she crossed paths with the Philosopher's Stone, you know. Not many people earn a color from the Sorcerer's Guild as young as she did, nor go on to earn a reputation as a bandit killer. Still... she was only a little girl. Surrounded on all sides by formidable enemies, caught up in a plot to revive the dark lord. In such precarious circumstances, anyone would prefer to pass their troubles off to an experienced sage. Or so I assumed.
[ He inclines his head in Zel's direction. ]
You can laugh, if you'd like.
no subject
He's not unable to sympathize.
If he's not careful, he'll sympathize more than he'd like.
In the end, Zel does laugh, but only a little. After all: ]
Lina took me by surprise, too. She can act like an idiot, but the reality is that she's as shrewd and brazen as anyone's ever been.
[ Shrewd, brazen, selfish, temperamental, and -- kind.
Better at understanding people than he's ever been. Ever will be. ]
You owe her more than you'll ever know.
[ Zel inhales like he's got more to say, though it takes him a second to find the nerve. ]
She had a theory. It was that Shabranigdu had gradually taken control of you. Naturally, I wasn't eager to believe it...
[ But.
The unspoken word hangs heavy in the air. ]
no subject
I may be more aware than you think.
[ It’s not as if he’s unaware that Lina has saved the world from him, twice. Really, if he seems ungrateful, surely it’s because he has no reasonable way of repaying such a debt. Besides possibly leaving her a good share of his money and property if he ever properly dies.
(Though he hasn’t even gotten around to reclaiming most of the things he’d accumulated over the course of a century plus lifespan, not withstanding the amount that had been destroyed by his copy…)
And then the next words, both spoken and implied, weigh down the atmosphere. ]
…
[ But now you want to believe it?
The thing is- Rezo knows how mind control magic works. He's used it before, as Zelgadis can attest. The victim goes into a trance, their conscious mind sleeps while their body acts according to the spell's programming, and when they snap out of it they have little to no memory of what they'd done.
This isn't the case with Rezo. He can recall everything he did and why. And because of that, he can’t honestly disown any of his past actions.
He could explain all this to Zelgadis. He could also lie, claim to have been a helpless puppet, and try to manipulate his grandson into once again pledging his loyalty. He’s starting to think he might even have a shot at it.
It would be immensely pathetic. And Zelgadis objectively deserves better.
In the end Rezo, being Rezo, elects to explain nothing. ]
…There are a lot of unknowns when it comes to shard carriers. I believe you should make your own judgement on the matter. [ Ultimately, it’s up to Zelgadis to decide whether or not he wants to let Rezo off the hook. ]
no subject
[ Obvious hypocrisy aside (pay no attention, move along!), he can tell he's going to need to actually explain his thought process in even bringing up this landmine of a conversation topic. Delightful. ]
...I'm not saying I'm naive enough to think you're just a victim. I'm saying that, if Lina hadn't given me something think about, maybe I wouldn't be here trying so hard to understand you.
[ Then again, maybe he would be. Maybe all he's doing is laying the blame for his own softheartedness at Lina's feet... ]
I'll never know the kind of person you'd have been without that shard. But I don't know who I'd be if I were the one with that burden.
no subject
He'd really prefer to discuss Zelgadis's gloominess than the landmine that Zelgadis has planted but, well. Here they are. ]
I can't answer those questions either.
[ It's just a pity Rezo has so little that's useful to say on the matter. As he'd said, there are a lot of unknowns. He'd been able to observe Shabranigdu's effect on others when he was within the Hellmaster's Jar, and compare the changes in their behavior to his own, but there was very little in the way of tangible data.
And more to the point, Lord Ruby Eye has always been within him. Always there, behind the same seal that Rezo himself felt trapped by. If Rezo hadn't been a vessel, hadn't been cursed, the course of his life would have been altered so greatly that it's unimaginable- all he can say is that he wouldn't be standing here now.
It likely all would have been much better but. At least he's had a few bright moments. ]
...Perhaps the next time I see Lina Inverse I should thank her?
[ "Hey thanks for telling my grandson I might not be 100% evil, we had a very emotional discussion and semi-reconciliation where Zelgadis bared his tender heart." Yeah Zelgadis would love it if Rezo went around talking about that. ]
no subject
Questions without answers are such a bother. The sort of thing that gloomy people like himself will endlessly ruminate on when given the chance.
That's one of the benefits to hanging out with his chaotic friends. They don't give him the opportunity to brood the way he'd like to.
Speaking of Lina, Zelgadis takes the time to picture how this interaction would go down and quickly changes his tune. ]
Never mind. That would be awful.
[ As if her ego needs it! As if he needs the teasing that would ensue! ]
Don't thank her for anything, actually. Give her an inch and she'll take a mile and then some.
no subject
Very well, I'll hold my tongue. [ God knows the last thing Zel needs is his grandfather and Lina potentially joining forces to mess with him. His brooding skills might get all rusty. And then how would he make all the girls swoon? ] Although she has a way of discerning these matters on her own.
[ Really, she's inordinately perceptive when it comes to other people. At least, in Rezo's experience, as someone who considers himself- and sometimes prides himself- on being someone most people find difficult to read, who nevertheless has had Lina repeatedly deduce the true nature of his past schemes. ]