[ That is not what Zelgadis expected to hear. What, now Rezo gives a damn about how he feels? He probably just wants to make sure he's not going to be a liability... That's a nice, safe assumption. He'll hold onto it, so he isn't disappointed.
He tries to find it in him to brush Rezo off and walk away, and fails. God, fine, he'll succumb to the mortifying ordeal of being known. ]
I doubt it.
[ Off to a phenomenal start. He sighs and relents in earnest. ]
Listen, I'm no bleeding heart, but this? ...I didn't think I'd find it so difficult to stay detached. They know what's happening to them, and I can't do anything about it. It's... draining.
[ What he so hated about being weak was not weakness itself, but the powerlessness of being so. ]
[That is... indeed a problem that Rezo can't easily slap a bandage on, though he's relieved that it's one he'd guessed, and that it's also not "You, being in my vicinity."]
Hm...
[Rezo's head tilts, considering. He's rather used to dealing with people in pain, such that it rarely bothers him. Sometimes, he even forgets that other people might not be able to tune it out as well as he can.
But his heart isn't entirely stone. Once, a long time ago, Rezo had been new to his profession, and had built up less of an emotional callus. How had he managed at the time? And would describing it be of any benefit to Zelgadis?
After a pause, Rezo finally speaks.]
In situations such as this, a useful exercise is to pretend as though it's a hypothetical situation. For instance, that it's a scenario being described to you by an instructor. The instructor wants to know how you think a professional healer should respond. You imagine this healer, and then you act out their role.
[This is a perfectly normal way of dealing with stressful situations that will definitely have no negative repercussions on your mental health if you keep employing it in the long term.]
Of course, it does take quite a bit of practice to develop a suitable level of detachment.
[...So in the end his advice boils down to "get used to it," doesn't it? Oh dear, that's not very helpful after all. Rezo straightens.]
And do not say that you can't do anything. You have been helping them all this time. Even a little bit of help can have far greater effects than you anticipate.
[ ...He's getting advice from Rezo like it's the old days. Encouragement, even. It's surreal.
He can see the logic behind Rezo's advice; doctors and healers need to maintain a degree of detachment in order to effectively carry out their work. Though, pretending it's all hypothetical sounds a little too dissociative for Zelgadis' taste.
Maybe every wise healer has this skill in their repertoire. Maybe only Rezo does this and it's revealing of the great dysfunction in his psyche! Zelgadis does not have the medical credentials to say one way or another.
Ultimately, it takes time to develop that detachment whether you're dissociating over it or not. Ironically, it's a bit like learning to get comfortable with taking lives. The first time he ever killed a bandit, his hands wouldn't stop shaking. Now it's easy.
So, okay, he's not getting much out of this advice, but Rezo is trying. Zel can't find fault with that.
And... it does make him feel a little better, that assurance that his efforts aren't in vain. He struggles with how he should respond to that. After floundering for a few long seconds, he manages to say, to his own disbelief: ]
...Thank you. I'll... try to remember that.
[ He rubs the back of his neck. Old memories of demurring from praise, self-conscious yet grateful, stir from where they've slept. They don't hurt as much as they have in the past. ]
[The reaction is familiar. Even the long, fraught pause before Zelgadis thanks him, that's not altogether unexpected. The boy has always been awkward about receiving encouragement and praise, perhaps born out of a perfectionist streak.
Or. Perhaps because Rezo was usually too absorbed in his own pursuits to really give Zelgadis much feedback either way.
Well, Rezo's tried giving him some now, and he's genuinely astonished that so far it doesn't seem to be going all that badly. It might be pleasant, but the moment also feels fragile enough that Rezo's afraid to risk lingering in it. So he doesn't.]
...We should perhaps return to work.
[Rezo makes a polite noise and turns to go back to the stonemason's guild, but he hesitates before taking any actual steps away.]
But please let me know if you have any other concerns.
[ It's a non-committal reply, but it's not a rejection. They've made some semblance of headway here. A tentative step forward is a step forward still.
The water tank materials are carted out to the sites where they'll be built. When no one is paying attention -- at least, when he thinks no one is -- Zelgadis gives one of the mules an encouraging pat on the neck before it sets off. ]
It's a rough life, huh? Hang in there, buddy.
[ Then there's nothing left to do but get constructing.
Distantly, Zelgadis remembers when him and the others were tasked with rebuilding the Flarelord's Temple. He wonders how Filia's doing these days. With any luck, she and her kid are living a life far removed from anything like this.
As Zelgadis predicted, the work goes on well into the night, and before he knows it, the sun is peeking over the horizon. He wipes sweat from his brow. Just a little more, and this last tank will be ready for business.
About two hours past sunrise, it's all done. The sense of accomplishment that brings is quickly outweighed by the several days' worth of exhaustion that seems to come on all at once. As soon as he's sure that others can take it from here, he finds himself a spot in the shade to curl up and sleep. ]
[ Unfortunately for Zelgadis, Rezo has good hearing- but fortunately for Zelgadis, Rezo also has some sense of discretion. And Rezo smiles a lot anyway, so if Zelgadis catches a glimpse of it, well, it could easily be chalked up to his usual priestly facade.
And so the work begins. Rezo's not bad with his hands and he helps with the construction work where he's able, but the majority of his job involves carving white magic symbols into the tanks, using water magic to fill them once they're ready, and then purifying and testing the contents. He makes sure to show Zelgadis everything he's doing and explain it, just in case Zelgadis will need to do it himself at some point later on.
It's almost alarming how easy it is to slip back into the role of tutor.
The job seems endless, especially when Rezo can't keep track of the lighting conditions, but then he finds himself casting the last Aqua Create and has the disorienting realization that they're done. Or at least, done with this particular job.
The coachmen are eager to head over to the stables where their horses are being kept to catch up on some sleep. Rezo doesn't berate them for tapping out, when they've already done considerably more than the job he hired them for in the first place. ]
Thank you. I'll let the villagers know that there's safe water readily available again.
[ He also certainly doesn't berate Zelgadis for heading off either. Though he does find himself concerned- is it prudent to leave Zelgadis to his own devices when there's a mazoku afoot? But there's people in need of healing while Zelgadis is in need of rest, Zelgadis is a powerful sorcerer-swordsman, and Rezo can come running if there's any commotion.
So Rezo is off to the inn, where he'll make himself busy trying to stabilize the patients that are most at risk. ]
[ As Zelgadis sleeps beneath an overhang roof, the weather changes, and a light rainfall begins: slightly unusual for the season, and a lucky break for the mazoku that's been wondering how to handle these bothersome sorcerers. It knows it won't be able to use the rain to pull off a curse on the scale of the one it's infected the spring with, but it's a practical creature: good enough is good enough. It doesn't need to concoct a new plague. It just needs to infect Zelgadis, and then surely this dysfunctional two-man cell will break down most delightfully.
Drawing on all the negativity it's cultivated within the town, it manifests amidst the rain like a shadow stepping up and out of the ground into the three-dimensional plane.
Just then, Zelgadis stirs, instinctively aware of the mazoku's now-physical presence. His eyes shoot open as it's already lunging at him. Wet with rain -- tainted water -- it coils around his neck, constricting like a snake. He grabs at it with both hands, but damn it all, it's slippery. ]
El... me... kia...
[ "All you had to do was mind your own business."
And then it vanishes all at once. ]
--LANCE!
[ It was futile, but he had to try.
He instantly feels like a fool. It shouldn't have been able to catch him unawares...
What was it even trying to accomplish? He can't tell, at first, that anything is wrong. If it was trying to scare him, well, it did manage to surprise him. But why now, when it's spent so long out of sight?
He notices then the rain. The overhang kept him from getting rained on -- from being woken up by the change in weather.
Drinking the cursed water, he recalls, was not the only means of contamination. Just as many people were cursed by bathing in the spring. Making contact with the water. ]
...Damn it.
[ The rainwater drips down his neck, and his skin begins to sting. He swears he can feel poison seeping into his veins. He wondered how this curse might affect him, and now he's going to get to find out. ]
Damn it all to hell!
[ Alright. Alright. What now.
He's got to tell Rezo.
As soon as possible.
Zelgadis pulls himself to his feet, and notes that the rain is beginning to subside.
He has to laugh. That's perfect. What impeccable timing.
Whether Rezo has already come to check out the commotion or is still at the inn, he'll find himself met by Zelgadis, the disgust in his voice palpable. ]
There's no good way to say this, so let's get it out of the way. I let my guard down, and I got myself cursed for it.
[ In fact, Rezo had nearly gone to check on Zelgadis when he'd first caught the sound of rain. Being a chimera didn't mean Zelgadis was immune to getting wet, or cold, or sick- but when he'd told the innkeeper he was going to check on his companion she'd let him know that she'd seen him sleeping sheltered by an overhang, and since it wasn't particularly windy nor raining heavily he'd decided to leave Zelgadis be and concentrate on the patients.
Still, even as he's trying to coax magical energy through the organs of a particularly catatonic patient, Rezo can't help but keep an ear out for the weather to get worse. The weather doesn't get worse, but instead he's jarred by- ]
Ah-?
[ The innkeeper looks over from the patient she's attending to, surprised by the priest's exclamation. "What's the matter?" ]
I heard shouting.
[ "Really? I can't hear anything..." ]
I'll go take a look.
[ The innkeeper still seems dubious, but Rezo ignores her in favor of sweeping his way out of the inn. Though he does hope she's right, and he's just being overly cautious.
As ever, they're not that lucky. Rezo hears the sound of Zelgadis's heavy footsteps before Zel even speaks up, and comes to a stop partway between the inn and the place where Zel had been resting.
The explanation is brief, but it doesn't need to be complicated. ]
The mazoku.
[ Rezo just hopes it's something he can treat with Flow Break, rather than anything more stubborn. If Rezo can't make up for this mistake quickly, then... ]
Let's sit down somewhere, and I'll take care of it. Are you hurt?
There's this burning spreading from where it grabbed me. Damned thing had me by the neck.
[ They find a place to sit, and Zelgadis is reminded of being a kid again, skinning his knee or elbow and seeking out Rezo for healing. He'd do his best impression of a stoic adult (to moderate degrees of success), because crying over a scrape was unbecoming.
Simple injuries with simple fixes. Everything back then was so simple.
Zel affords himself a moment to hold his head in his hand. ]
The last thing I wanted was for you to have to do damage control because I screwed up.
[ It's an injury to his pride. It's a distraction from the worst-off cases.
And he just... didn't want to burden Rezo like that.
But this isn't a disaster. He screwed up, yes, but Flow Break will probably work.
So what's this feeling in his gut saying otherwise? If it could be so easily dispelled, the smart thing for that mazoku to do would have been to try and kill him right then and there...
Maybe it miscalculated? How, though, would it not have taken into account the presence of a white magic user on Rezo's level...?
[ The description of burning is an ominous one, and Rezo muses aloud as to the potential cause. ]
Poison, perhaps... Or something acidic...
[ Once Zelgadis is seated, Rezo digs a cloth out of his cloak from some magical fold or other, and gives it to Zelgadis. ]
Here. Wipe off your neck and anywhere it touched. It may have left a residue of some kind.
[ Once Zelgadis is done, Rezo holds out his hand, hovering it above the back of Zelgadis's neck, and silently casts a detoxification spell. Any non-magical toxins should break down quickly under the onslaught of white magical energy. Any black magic, on the other hand...
The detoxification spell hums away, completed within a few moments. And Rezo's mind is so thoroughly occupied by the matter of Fixing Things that he nearly startles when Zelgadis's next words register.
He hadn't thought of it as Zelgadis screwing up. At the very least, both of them were guilty of complacency.
And Rezo had even thought that Zelgadis might be vulnerable out in the open but, stupidly, he hadn't wanted to pester him. And Rezo had assured himself that Zelgadis's chimera status should keep him safe. Clearly not, and as the man who'd designed Zelgadis's body he damn well should have considered the angles in which Zelgadis is vulnerable. ]
...You needed to rest.
[ The words sound feeble to his own words, and Rezo decides he'd better not make further attempts at being consoling. ]
Rather than think about what we should have done differently, it's better if we consider our next steps. I'll try the Flow Break now.
[ Rezo takes a step back and moves in front of Zelgadis, holding out his hands as he incants the Flow Break spell. A star shaped light forms beneath Zelgadis, the magic buzzing and humming through Rezo and into the spell, seeking out unnatural flows in Zelgadis's energy. ]
[ Is Zelgadis having audio hallucinations, or is Rezo trying to spare his feelings? The absurdity could bowl him right over. Rezo's so bad at it, too, but it makes the attempt ring all the more sincere.
Once again -- and this must be enough times by now to count as a pattern -- Rezo is bothering to take Zelgadis' emotions into account.
Since when do you care how I feel? Zelgadis wants to grab him and shake him and ask. Why does it matter now?
Zel doesn't feel any less foolish; the best consolation Rezo can provide doesn't really refute that poor decision-making got them here. He nearly finds it patronizing to be let off the hook so easily.
But Rezo's right: their attention should be on what happens next. Rezo casts Flow Break, and Zel hopes for the best.
It'll probably work. He's being too cynical. Why would it not work, if it's Rezo's magic?
It's an odd sensation as Flow Break makes contact with the curse. The white magic begins the correct the flow of energy, and Zel starts to think he really was being cynical.
But then something changes. The curse adapts; re-solidifies itself. It's like it needed to take a few hits and learn how Flow Break worked in order to combat it.
Zelgadis is not aware of the specifics of how the two different kinds of magic are interacting with one another, but he can tell this much: Flow Break isn't going to cut it. ]
...That would be too easy, I suppose.
[ He's not even angry at Rezo. Just himself.
Sardonically, he adds: ]
On the bright side, we know it's not going to just kill me.
[ Rezo pours more energy into the spell, significantly more than a Flow Break normally calls for, and stubbornly keeps it up past the point a more sensible priest would have given up. But eventually his hands start to shake and he finally aborts the spell, swaying a little and cursing inside his head.
Damn it, is this really all I can do now? ]
Gh...
[ Rezo forces himself to go still and takes a few breaths until the dizziness subsides. Right. Flow Break isn't working. What happens next? Zelgadis mentioned he doesn't think the curse is going to kill him- ]
Do you think it's the same as the curse on the villagers?
[ The particularly insidious thing about that curse is how the villagers are kept from communicating their own distress. If Zelgadis's condition worsens, will he be able to tell Rezo about it?
But if it's a different curse then they don't know what they're dealing with, and that's its own host of issues. ]
[ A curse that even Rezo can't easily break is not beyond imagination. If he were all powerful, he would have lived a very different life. But the unsuccessful Flow Break seems taxing to Rezo, and that shouldn't be the case, should it? He could just be tired from travel and work...
That's no explanation. This is the same man Zelgadis knew he couldn't take on without the Philosopher's Stone. Rezo has not come out of death unscathed.
He asks his question before Zel can formulate one of his own, and he's forced to switch gears. ]
I presumed as much, given that it's a water-based curse.
[ There's a tinge of uncertainty in his voice, and it's only in part because he's second-guessing his assumption.
The curse being the same isn't a leap of logic to make, but they won't know for sure until the other shoe drops. ]
Even then, the curse on the villagers seemingly targets "humans", though it could be that "sapience" is the real deciding factor. Best-case scenario, I find out what being one-third cursed entails.
[ That would be funny if the stakes weren't so high.
The worst-case scenario is impossible to guess with so many unknown factors at play.
Whatever is wrong with Rezo can't remain an unknown factor, for both of their sakes. ]
Here's what I do know. We're both going to be a lot worse off if you don't tell me what your deal is. I can buy that we're facing a powerful opponent here, but I've never seen a healing spell take that much out of you.
[ Right before Rezo had to give up on Flow Break, he looked like neither the miracle-working Great Sage nor the terrible sorcerer that would have sacrificed anything and everything to see the world with his own eyes.
[ One-third cursed indeed. Rezo's done more research than perhaps anyone else into chimeras, but he has to admit there are still a lot of unknowns in the area. It's unfortunately such a controversial, borderline taboo area of research, that few are willing to experiment with it and even fewer are willing to admit to and share the results of their research.
To Rezo's chagrin, Zelgadis has noticed his dizzy spell. Rezo's able to keep his expression relatively placid, but it doesn't make it any easier to explain himself. ]
I thought I might be able to brute force my way through the curse, so I put considerably more energy into that Flow Break than the spell normally calls for.
[ That doesn't really answer the implicit question, but he hopes Zelgadis is merciful enough not to actually make Rezo spell out his own weakness. It should be apparent from this that Rezo's pool capacity is not what it used to be. ]
-But I do understand your concern. Our next best option for breaking the curse is to defeat the mazoku who inflicted it, and it won't give any quarter for weakness. We'll need to be better prepared. Since you've already had the dubious pleasure of meeting our quarry, what did you notice about it?
[ Did you hear something? Not Zelgadis muttering under his breath, surely.
It's less the magic and more the caster that's not up to par, if one wants to be particular about details but he knew he was right to suspect Rezo might not as strong as he used to be. Was he lying yesterday? Or is this coming as a surprise to him, too?
Zel still can't manage to muster anger. Yesterday, maybe, he might have played dumb. Like in how he treated the coachmen, he might have found a cruel, fleeting satisfaction in making Rezo admit to how weak he's become.
Instead, the prospect feels hollow. Hurting Rezo on purpose now, when he has already fallen so far...
It would be pathetic, and nothing more. ]
Like I said, it caught me by surprise. I woke up to a dark mass rushing towards me: that's all I could make out. I know it's capable of distorting its shape, because it wrapped itself around my neck. When I tried pulling it off of me, it was too slippery to grab hold of. It told me that all I had to do was mind my own business, and then it disappeared entirely.
If it hadn't been raining, I don't know if it would have attacked me outright. It's been playing things safe up until now; it would be strange to completely change tactics. But based on what it said to me, it might start getting bolder from here on out. The more progress we make, the more of a threat we pose. A cornered animal fights the fiercest... but that may be what we want. I'm willing to bet that it's avoiding a direct confrontation with us because it's weak in that area. Why else operate so covertly?
[ Unfortunately, Rezo has pretty sharp hearing, and while he can't perfectly make out what Zel is muttering the tone is unmistakable.
As is the fact he's letting Zelgadis down. Again.
The rush of sheer self-disgust is borderline nauseating, brought on not only by his own weakness but by the acknowledgement of his own pathetic, selfish motivations. If he were a proper priest he'd be solely concerned with fulfilling his duties, not with winning back some portion of Zelgadis's esteem.
How egotistical. Rezo has the admiration and affection of thousands across the barrier lands, but Zelgadis's scorn still bothers him with the persistent pain of having a stone in his shoe.
But such psychological baggage is not something they should unpack. Not when they have a mazoku actively targeting them. Rezo frowns, forcing his thoughts to return to the problem at hand. ]
I believe you're correct. And if we intend to draw it out, it's more likely to appear at the spring where it has an edge.
[ But is this the right time to confront it? ]
I've made some progress with the patients at the inn, but they're still in poor condition overall. If I provide instruction, will you be able to assist with the magic treatments? [A hesitation, and then:] Or would you prefer we go after the mazoku immediately?
Would Zelgadis like to save himself at the cost of this entire village?
It's tempting. Despite all appearances, he is only human at heart, with all the weakness that entails. If his curse is the same as the villagers', that's terrifying. Terrifying beyond reason. He doesn't want to suffer like that.
(The burning sensation has dulled, but it has also spread; he can feel it now in his chest and extremities.)
And he still believes it would be a mercy if some of the affected were allowed to die.
...But deep down he knows he wouldn't be able to make that argument without it being, to some degree, rationalization for an immensely selfish act. What about everyone that wants to live? Who are still clinging to hope?
If he went and killed that mazoku now, sacrificing all of these people, betraying them after promising to help... how could he say he's any different from Rezo?
Rezo's own hesitation speaks for itself. This is the selfish course of action.
But he's given Zelgadis the opportunity to take it. That is the part that is interesting. What Zel should make of that, he isn't sure.
Perhaps it's Rezo's way of saying that he values Zelgadis' life.
The silence is heavy as Zel weighs the options. ]
For now, we wait to confront the mazoku. I'll help you with the patients.
[ But if they wait too long...
Zel puts that thought out of mind. There is still time now, and they should make use of it. ]
[ Rezo remains patiently quiet while Zelgadis weighs his options. He's not sure if the ruthless streak Zelgadis has inherited from him will win out, or if the boy's more altruistic nature will carry the day instead. He's not sure which result he'd prefer. Despite what Zelgadis may think, Rezo's truly past the point of bearing Zelgadis any ill will; he has no desire to see any harm come to the boy. But one option could leave Zelgadis to suffer greater damage from the effects of the curse, and the other could burden him with a guilty conscience that cannot easily be soothed.
When Zelgadis does finally make his choice, it's a relief regardless to have the choice behind them. ]
Thank you. Let's return to the inn.
[ ...It's also a relief to have help with this part. Is that terrible of him? Zelgadis has barely gotten any rest, but the weary ache in Rezo's own limbs is impossible to deny. They may have to rest in shifts until they're able to see this through. Though even that can't start until Rezo's sure Zelgadis knows what he's doing.
The strained atmosphere of the inn has eased somewhat from when the two of them first entered the previous day, and a few of the patients look more lively than they did previously. Maud even had to be tied to her bed to prevent her from getting up and wearing herself out all over again. ]
Here, this girl is ready for treatment.
[ The patient they have next is a girl of about nine or ten years old. Rezo doesn't know her name. The innkeeper's too busy to ask. Rezo ushers Zelgadis into position beside the patient and takes the girl's hand, then reaches for Zelgadis's, intending to put the one in the other. ]
[ Zelgadis is quietly stunned by the progress that's been made already. It reaffirms that there is hope for these people, and he is right not to pursue the mazoku. Just maybe they can turn this around before Zel's own curse progresses too far.
"If you've only got a one percent chance of winning, but convince yourself you're going to lose, that one percent becomes zero percent."
Underneath that hotheadedness, Lina's always been strikingly wise. Whatever likelihood he and Rezo have of pulling this off, it's greater than zero percent.
He clasps the little girl's hand as its placed in his. It's so small. She's so frail. ]
We're going to get you better. I promise.
[ Now he has no excuses.
Heeding Rezo's instruction, he begins casting a healing spell. The dull ache in his body has become ignorable enough; less so the abrupt return of the burning sensation. He doesn't manage to stifle a grunt of pain. ]
--Bit my tongue.
[ It's a lie for the little girl's benefit, and an indirect way of telling Rezo to carry on as if nothing happened.
It's immediately clear to him what's going on: magic comes at the cost of pain.
He will grit his teeth and bear it. This child is far worse off and can't even communicate her suffering, can't so much as cry or complain as she has every right to.
But it does burn.
Then there's Rezo. He was working all through the night and then must have kept at it as Zelgadis slept. That's the only way this much progress could have been made so soon. If he goes and wears himself out, they're in even bigger trouble.
...Plus, it would bother him if Rezo got hurt. That could lead to getting killed.
Very few people ever get to come back to life. Nobody gets to do it a second time. The universe is not so generous.
Rezo can't die. Zel won't let him, not when he's finally giving a damn.
Zelgadis doesn't even want to acknowledge how much he has wanted that. It's mortifying.
This round of treatment concludes. The young girl is a long ways from fine, but she looks unmistakably healthier than she did before.
This pain will be worth it.
He addresses Rezo, grimacing when he hears the strain in his own voice. ]
I've gotten the hang of this. Leave the next patients to me.
[ Go rest, he can't manage to say.
He'll leave broaching the subject of "biting his tongue" to Rezo, should he want to ask. ]
[ It's not until after Rezo's placed the girl's hand in Zelgadis's and stepped away does it occur to him to feel strange about having made that bit of contact; but it isn't a good time for him to muse on the whens and whys of the last time he touched Zelgadis when there's a sickly child in need of care right there. He takes a careful step back and begins to speak. ]
The incantation for the Resurrection spell is actually only slightly longer than the Recovery spell, but it requires you to siphon energy from your self and your surrounding environment. Start by focusing on your core...
[ It would be better if they had more greenery around but alas, one has to work with what one has. There's life force to be had in the healthy residents and in the earth itself, enough to eke out the magic they need.
Of course, that may be easier said than done for an inexperienced healer like Zelgadis. ]
-Eh?
[ Rezo frowns at the outburst, not bothering to hide his confusion and concern even if he picks up on the unspoken message to carry on. He walks Zelgadis through the rest of the spell, and part of his mind keeps mulling it over. Healing can be strenuous to those not accustomed to it- or to those who have expended their capacity. Zelgadis's capacity shouldn't be that low, since he's a chimera. But Zelgadis normally doesn't have a mazoku's curse upon him.
...Or maybe he's overthinking it and Zelgadis really did bite his tongue.
After the hum of magic has faded and the girl's breathing has evened out, they're theoretically ready to move on. Zelgadis, ambitious as ever, offers to do the rest on his own, but he sounds strained and Rezo's brow furrows. Though he tries to temper it with a smile. ]
Please, allow me to at least supervise the next few. It's better to be cautious.
[ If Rezo's worrying for nothing then there'll be no harm in staying nearby. But if something is wrong, he can at least be on hand to catch Zelgadis if he falls.
Hopefully a metaphorical fall, because if he tried with a literal one Zelgadis would probably knock him over like a tenpin. ]
[ He's actually trying to be considerate, and Rezo won't even take him up on it!! Ugh!! ]
...Sure. Alright.
[ He gives in, knowing he has neither the time nor energy to spare on arguing the point.
If he were one of these patients -- and he won't be -- he would prefer that the less experienced healer have some oversight, just in case.
If Rezo is here, he's going to notice that Zel's struggling more than he ought to be. The shame of that is one thing he wants to avoid. Just as bad, Rezo might then think he's unfit to continue.
But to delay the inevitable is irresponsible and pointless.
Without really thinking about it, he grabs Rezo by the shoulder to bring him closer, the way he would anyone else when he needs to not be overheard. ]
It's harder to cast magic now, but I can keep going.
[ Then with awkwardness that is nearly palpable, Zelgadis abruptly lets him go.
When's the last time he initiated physical contact without violent intent?
He's struggling to remember.
With haste that betrays self-consciousness, he says: ]
I'll treat the next patient.
[ A teenage boy, this time. The son of the innkeeper's friend, he seems to remember her saying.
Zel focuses on his core, braces himself, and begins the incantation.
It's no easier the second time. An intensive white magic spell he's unfamiliar with casting would be taxing under the best of circumstances; fatigue and the curse complicate the matter tenfold. ]
...show your great compassion to this person... and deliver them...
[ The strain is evident in his voice, but so is determination. ]
-- Resurrection!
[ This is the worst part, naturally. Where the magic flows, the curse sears alongside it.
When it's finally safe to, he's going to kill that mazoku deader than dead, and oh, he's going to enjoy it. Nothing wrong with revenge in and of itself.
Zel is breathing hard by the time Resurrection has been completed. His head is pounding, and he doesn't notice his nose is bleeding until he tastes copper in his mouth. ]
Oh, that's fantastic.
[ Rezo can't see what he's referring to, so he clarifies. ]
[ Rezo startles a little at the grab, nearly missing the rather important information Zelgadis is trying to tell him due to being distracted both by the gesture and the fact it isn't being followed up by a punch to the jaw. But when he does register what Zelgadis says he doesn't even bother trying to hide his frown. He immediately wants to probe for more detail but Zelgadis is already trying to move on. ]
Zelgadis...
[ Discontent, Rezo follows along and supervises the magic process for the next patient. The magic flows more or less as it should and the words of the incantation are spoken true, but with obvious difficulty. When the spell ends, the heavy sound of Zelgadis's breath is echoing in Rezo's ears, and then-
Rezo tilts his head. ]
What?
[ He catches the whiff of fresh blood a moment after Zelgadis clarifies, and he reaches into his cloak to rummage for something useful. ]
Oh. Lean forward. And- here.
[ He holds out a handkerchief (his cloak can store a surprising amount of things) so Zel hopefully will not have to wipe the blood off onto his sleeve, oblivious to the fact it's too late. ]
You'd better explain what's going on. Right now, it appears as if your magic is draining much faster than it should.
[ Rezo's reaction after Zel grabs him causes a pang of guilt.
Of all things.
Rezo might have earnestly thought that Zelgadis meant to attack him.
Without even trying to defend himself.
For a split second, Zelgadis feels like a bully.
Though blood is already smeared on his sleeve, he wordlessly accepts the handkerchief, holding it to his nose and leaning his head forward. Still bleeding, it seems.
Rezo wasn't happy that Zelgadis skirted past the details earlier. He won't be able to get away with being dodgy a second time. ]
...When I said it was harder to cast magic, what I meant was that it's painful. It's taking more out of me than it should.
[ He keeps his voice low.
No complaining where the patients can hear him. ]
I was going to power through it. I still plan to.
[ He doesn't want to amend that with an "if I can". It would be like admitting defeat.
He may be too stubborn for his own good. He knows it, even. If he's draining magic too quickly, that's serious.
Whatever the case, this is serious. If he needs to cast any healing magic on himself, he's almost certainly out of luck. ]
Don't tell me to call it quits here.
[ It's not a demand, but a request made in a quiet, measured tone. ]
[ Rezo's chest tightens as Zelgadis speaks and he continues to frown. ]
We don't know what the risks are. Besides the pain and the nosebleed, it could be doing other things to your body that we haven't noticed yet.
[ Rezo's not telling Zelgadis to call it quits; he isn't making any demands either. But it's hard for him to really be okay with the risk they're taking. Knowing that he's had Zelgadis take direr risks in the past doesn't help assuage the spike of tension. At the time, what other options had Rezo had?
Well. He could, hypothetically, screw over the village of Remedis instead.
But then, Rezo already asked Zelgadis about it earlier. If the effects of the curse made Zelgadis change his mind, then he could have said so.
Rezo's shoulders finally slump. ]
...Very well. I'll abide by your decision.
[ He feels wrung out, and he knows he shouldn't. If he didn't feel so tired so easily, this situation wouldn't be anywhere near as serious. But it is what it is. ]
[ The slump of Rezo's shoulders reads like an admission of defeat.
It's so hard to fathom that his grandfather is invested in his well-being. It doesn't feel real. Before he can convince himself not to, Zelgadis asks the question that's been weighing on his mind.
This is neither the time nor place, but he can't help himself. Like a scab he can't leave alone. ]
Why do you care what happens to me?
[ 'It's not like you', he would say, but the reality is that he doesn't know what is or isn't 'like' Rezo.
He thought he knew him, once: a kind and selfless sage. And then he thought again that he knew him: a selfish, obsessive bastard of a man.
There's truth in both of these impressions, but it doesn't paint any clearer a picture.
After all that's happened, who is Rezo now? Who -- what -- is Zelgadis to him? Family? A test subject? Something useful to have around?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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He tries to find it in him to brush Rezo off and walk away, and fails. God, fine, he'll succumb to the mortifying ordeal of being known. ]
I doubt it.
[ Off to a phenomenal start. He sighs and relents in earnest. ]
Listen, I'm no bleeding heart, but this? ...I didn't think I'd find it so difficult to stay detached. They know what's happening to them, and I can't do anything about it. It's... draining.
[ What he so hated about being weak was not weakness itself, but the powerlessness of being so. ]
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Hm...
[Rezo's head tilts, considering. He's rather used to dealing with people in pain, such that it rarely bothers him. Sometimes, he even forgets that other people might not be able to tune it out as well as he can.
But his heart isn't entirely stone. Once, a long time ago, Rezo had been new to his profession, and had built up less of an emotional callus. How had he managed at the time? And would describing it be of any benefit to Zelgadis?
After a pause, Rezo finally speaks.]
In situations such as this, a useful exercise is to pretend as though it's a hypothetical situation. For instance, that it's a scenario being described to you by an instructor. The instructor wants to know how you think a professional healer should respond. You imagine this healer, and then you act out their role.
[
This is a perfectly normal way of dealing with stressful situations that will definitely have no negative repercussions on your mental health if you keep employing it in the long term.]Of course, it does take quite a bit of practice to develop a suitable level of detachment.
[...So in the end his advice boils down to "get used to it," doesn't it? Oh dear, that's not very helpful after all. Rezo straightens.]
And do not say that you can't do anything. You have been helping them all this time. Even a little bit of help can have far greater effects than you anticipate.
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He can see the logic behind Rezo's advice; doctors and healers need to maintain a degree of detachment in order to effectively carry out their work. Though, pretending it's all hypothetical sounds a little too dissociative for Zelgadis' taste.
Maybe every wise healer has this skill in their repertoire. Maybe only Rezo does this and it's revealing of the great dysfunction in his psyche! Zelgadis does not have the medical credentials to say one way or another.
Ultimately, it takes time to develop that detachment whether you're dissociating over it or not. Ironically, it's a bit like learning to get comfortable with taking lives. The first time he ever killed a bandit, his hands wouldn't stop shaking. Now it's easy.
So, okay, he's not getting much out of this advice, but Rezo is trying. Zel can't find fault with that.
And... it does make him feel a little better, that assurance that his efforts aren't in vain. He struggles with how he should respond to that. After floundering for a few long seconds, he manages to say, to his own disbelief: ]
...Thank you. I'll... try to remember that.
[ He rubs the back of his neck. Old memories of demurring from praise, self-conscious yet grateful, stir from where they've slept. They don't hurt as much as they have in the past. ]
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Or. Perhaps because Rezo was usually too absorbed in his own pursuits to really give Zelgadis much feedback either way.
Well, Rezo's tried giving him some now, and he's genuinely astonished that so far it doesn't seem to be going all that badly. It might be pleasant, but the moment also feels fragile enough that Rezo's afraid to risk lingering in it. So he doesn't.]
...We should perhaps return to work.
[Rezo makes a polite noise and turns to go back to the stonemason's guild, but he hesitates before taking any actual steps away.]
But please let me know if you have any other concerns.
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[ It's a non-committal reply, but it's not a rejection. They've made some semblance of headway here. A tentative step forward is a step forward still.
The water tank materials are carted out to the sites where they'll be built. When no one is paying attention -- at least, when he thinks no one is -- Zelgadis gives one of the mules an encouraging pat on the neck before it sets off. ]
It's a rough life, huh? Hang in there, buddy.
[ Then there's nothing left to do but get constructing.
Distantly, Zelgadis remembers when him and the others were tasked with rebuilding the Flarelord's Temple. He wonders how Filia's doing these days. With any luck, she and her kid are living a life far removed from anything like this.
As Zelgadis predicted, the work goes on well into the night, and before he knows it, the sun is peeking over the horizon. He wipes sweat from his brow. Just a little more, and this last tank will be ready for business.
About two hours past sunrise, it's all done. The sense of accomplishment that brings is quickly outweighed by the several days' worth of exhaustion that seems to come on all at once. As soon as he's sure that others can take it from here, he finds himself a spot in the shade to curl up and sleep. ]
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And so the work begins. Rezo's not bad with his hands and he helps with the construction work where he's able, but the majority of his job involves carving white magic symbols into the tanks, using water magic to fill them once they're ready, and then purifying and testing the contents. He makes sure to show Zelgadis everything he's doing and explain it, just in case Zelgadis will need to do it himself at some point later on.
It's almost alarming how easy it is to slip back into the role of tutor.
The job seems endless, especially when Rezo can't keep track of the lighting conditions, but then he finds himself casting the last Aqua Create and has the disorienting realization that they're done. Or at least, done with this particular job.
The coachmen are eager to head over to the stables where their horses are being kept to catch up on some sleep. Rezo doesn't berate them for tapping out, when they've already done considerably more than the job he hired them for in the first place. ]
Thank you. I'll let the villagers know that there's safe water readily available again.
[ He also certainly doesn't berate Zelgadis for heading off either. Though he does find himself concerned- is it prudent to leave Zelgadis to his own devices when there's a mazoku afoot? But there's people in need of healing while Zelgadis is in need of rest, Zelgadis is a powerful sorcerer-swordsman, and Rezo can come running if there's any commotion.
So Rezo is off to the inn, where he'll make himself busy trying to stabilize the patients that are most at risk. ]
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Drawing on all the negativity it's cultivated within the town, it manifests amidst the rain like a shadow stepping up and out of the ground into the three-dimensional plane.
Just then, Zelgadis stirs, instinctively aware of the mazoku's now-physical presence. His eyes shoot open as it's already lunging at him. Wet with rain -- tainted water -- it coils around his neck, constricting like a snake. He grabs at it with both hands, but damn it all, it's slippery. ]
El... me... kia...
[ "All you had to do was mind your own business."
And then it vanishes all at once. ]
--LANCE!
[ It was futile, but he had to try.
He instantly feels like a fool. It shouldn't have been able to catch him unawares...
What was it even trying to accomplish? He can't tell, at first, that anything is wrong. If it was trying to scare him, well, it did manage to surprise him. But why now, when it's spent so long out of sight?
He notices then the rain. The overhang kept him from getting rained on -- from being woken up by the change in weather.
Drinking the cursed water, he recalls, was not the only means of contamination. Just as many people were cursed by bathing in the spring. Making contact with the water. ]
...Damn it.
[ The rainwater drips down his neck, and his skin begins to sting. He swears he can feel poison seeping into his veins. He wondered how this curse might affect him, and now he's going to get to find out. ]
Damn it all to hell!
[ Alright. Alright. What now.
He's got to tell Rezo.
As soon as possible.
Zelgadis pulls himself to his feet, and notes that the rain is beginning to subside.
He has to laugh. That's perfect. What impeccable timing.
Whether Rezo has already come to check out the commotion or is still at the inn, he'll find himself met by Zelgadis, the disgust in his voice palpable. ]
There's no good way to say this, so let's get it out of the way. I let my guard down, and I got myself cursed for it.
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Still, even as he's trying to coax magical energy through the organs of a particularly catatonic patient, Rezo can't help but keep an ear out for the weather to get worse. The weather doesn't get worse, but instead he's jarred by- ]
Ah-?
[ The innkeeper looks over from the patient she's attending to, surprised by the priest's exclamation. "What's the matter?" ]
I heard shouting.
[ "Really? I can't hear anything..." ]
I'll go take a look.
[ The innkeeper still seems dubious, but Rezo ignores her in favor of sweeping his way out of the inn. Though he does hope she's right, and he's just being overly cautious.
As ever, they're not that lucky. Rezo hears the sound of Zelgadis's heavy footsteps before Zel even speaks up, and comes to a stop partway between the inn and the place where Zel had been resting.
The explanation is brief, but it doesn't need to be complicated. ]
The mazoku.
[ Rezo just hopes it's something he can treat with Flow Break, rather than anything more stubborn. If Rezo can't make up for this mistake quickly, then... ]
Let's sit down somewhere, and I'll take care of it. Are you hurt?
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[ Gingerly, Zelgadis rubs his throat. ]
There's this burning spreading from where it grabbed me. Damned thing had me by the neck.
[ They find a place to sit, and Zelgadis is reminded of being a kid again, skinning his knee or elbow and seeking out Rezo for healing. He'd do his best impression of a stoic adult (to moderate degrees of success), because crying over a scrape was unbecoming.
Simple injuries with simple fixes. Everything back then was so simple.
Zel affords himself a moment to hold his head in his hand. ]
The last thing I wanted was for you to have to do damage control because I screwed up.
[ It's an injury to his pride. It's a distraction from the worst-off cases.
And he just... didn't want to burden Rezo like that.
But this isn't a disaster. He screwed up, yes, but Flow Break will probably work.
So what's this feeling in his gut saying otherwise? If it could be so easily dispelled, the smart thing for that mazoku to do would have been to try and kill him right then and there...
Maybe it miscalculated? How, though, would it not have taken into account the presence of a white magic user on Rezo's level...?
We'll find out soon, won't we. ]
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Poison, perhaps... Or something acidic...
[ Once Zelgadis is seated, Rezo digs a cloth out of his cloak from some magical fold or other, and gives it to Zelgadis. ]
Here. Wipe off your neck and anywhere it touched. It may have left a residue of some kind.
[ Once Zelgadis is done, Rezo holds out his hand, hovering it above the back of Zelgadis's neck, and silently casts a detoxification spell. Any non-magical toxins should break down quickly under the onslaught of white magical energy. Any black magic, on the other hand...
The detoxification spell hums away, completed within a few moments. And Rezo's mind is so thoroughly occupied by the matter of Fixing Things that he nearly startles when Zelgadis's next words register.
He hadn't thought of it as Zelgadis screwing up. At the very least, both of them were guilty of complacency.
And Rezo had even thought that Zelgadis might be vulnerable out in the open but, stupidly, he hadn't wanted to pester him. And Rezo had assured himself that Zelgadis's chimera status should keep him safe. Clearly not, and as the man who'd designed Zelgadis's body he damn well should have considered the angles in which Zelgadis is vulnerable. ]
...You needed to rest.
[ The words sound feeble to his own words, and Rezo decides he'd better not make further attempts at being consoling. ]
Rather than think about what we should have done differently, it's better if we consider our next steps. I'll try the Flow Break now.
[ Rezo takes a step back and moves in front of Zelgadis, holding out his hands as he incants the Flow Break spell. A star shaped light forms beneath Zelgadis, the magic buzzing and humming through Rezo and into the spell, seeking out unnatural flows in Zelgadis's energy. ]
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Once again -- and this must be enough times by now to count as a pattern -- Rezo is bothering to take Zelgadis' emotions into account.
Since when do you care how I feel? Zelgadis wants to grab him and shake him and ask. Why does it matter now?
Zel doesn't feel any less foolish; the best consolation Rezo can provide doesn't really refute that poor decision-making got them here. He nearly finds it patronizing to be let off the hook so easily.
But Rezo's right: their attention should be on what happens next. Rezo casts Flow Break, and Zel hopes for the best.
It'll probably work. He's being too cynical. Why would it not work, if it's Rezo's magic?
It's an odd sensation as Flow Break makes contact with the curse. The white magic begins the correct the flow of energy, and Zel starts to think he really was being cynical.
But then something changes. The curse adapts; re-solidifies itself. It's like it needed to take a few hits and learn how Flow Break worked in order to combat it.
Zelgadis is not aware of the specifics of how the two different kinds of magic are interacting with one another, but he can tell this much: Flow Break isn't going to cut it. ]
...That would be too easy, I suppose.
[ He's not even angry at Rezo. Just himself.
Sardonically, he adds: ]
On the bright side, we know it's not going to just kill me.
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[ Rezo pours more energy into the spell, significantly more than a Flow Break normally calls for, and stubbornly keeps it up past the point a more sensible priest would have given up. But eventually his hands start to shake and he finally aborts the spell, swaying a little and cursing inside his head.
Damn it, is this really all I can do now? ]
Gh...
[ Rezo forces himself to go still and takes a few breaths until the dizziness subsides. Right. Flow Break isn't working. What happens next? Zelgadis mentioned he doesn't think the curse is going to kill him- ]
Do you think it's the same as the curse on the villagers?
[ The particularly insidious thing about that curse is how the villagers are kept from communicating their own distress. If Zelgadis's condition worsens, will he be able to tell Rezo about it?
But if it's a different curse then they don't know what they're dealing with, and that's its own host of issues. ]
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That's no explanation. This is the same man Zelgadis knew he couldn't take on without the Philosopher's Stone. Rezo has not come out of death unscathed.
He asks his question before Zel can formulate one of his own, and he's forced to switch gears. ]
I presumed as much, given that it's a water-based curse.
[ There's a tinge of uncertainty in his voice, and it's only in part because he's second-guessing his assumption.
The curse being the same isn't a leap of logic to make, but they won't know for sure until the other shoe drops. ]
Even then, the curse on the villagers seemingly targets "humans", though it could be that "sapience" is the real deciding factor. Best-case scenario, I find out what being one-third cursed entails.
[ That would be funny if the stakes weren't so high.
The worst-case scenario is impossible to guess with so many unknown factors at play.
Whatever is wrong with Rezo can't remain an unknown factor, for both of their sakes. ]
Here's what I do know. We're both going to be a lot worse off if you don't tell me what your deal is. I can buy that we're facing a powerful opponent here, but I've never seen a healing spell take that much out of you.
[ Right before Rezo had to give up on Flow Break, he looked like neither the miracle-working Great Sage nor the terrible sorcerer that would have sacrificed anything and everything to see the world with his own eyes.
There was only an old man sitting there. ]
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To Rezo's chagrin, Zelgadis has noticed his dizzy spell. Rezo's able to keep his expression relatively placid, but it doesn't make it any easier to explain himself. ]
I thought I might be able to brute force my way through the curse, so I put considerably more energy into that Flow Break than the spell normally calls for.
[ That doesn't really answer the implicit question, but he hopes Zelgadis is merciful enough not to actually make Rezo spell out his own weakness. It should be apparent from this that Rezo's pool capacity is not what it used to be. ]
-But I do understand your concern. Our next best option for breaking the curse is to defeat the mazoku who inflicted it, and it won't give any quarter for weakness. We'll need to be better prepared. Since you've already had the dubious pleasure of meeting our quarry, what did you notice about it?
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[ Did you hear something? Not Zelgadis muttering under his breath, surely.
It's less the magic and more the caster that's not up to par, if one wants to be particular about details but he knew he was right to suspect Rezo might not as strong as he used to be. Was he lying yesterday? Or is this coming as a surprise to him, too?
Zel still can't manage to muster anger. Yesterday, maybe, he might have played dumb. Like in how he treated the coachmen, he might have found a cruel, fleeting satisfaction in making Rezo admit to how weak he's become.
Instead, the prospect feels hollow. Hurting Rezo on purpose now, when he has already fallen so far...
It would be pathetic, and nothing more. ]
Like I said, it caught me by surprise. I woke up to a dark mass rushing towards me: that's all I could make out. I know it's capable of distorting its shape, because it wrapped itself around my neck. When I tried pulling it off of me, it was too slippery to grab hold of. It told me that all I had to do was mind my own business, and then it disappeared entirely.
If it hadn't been raining, I don't know if it would have attacked me outright. It's been playing things safe up until now; it would be strange to completely change tactics. But based on what it said to me, it might start getting bolder from here on out. The more progress we make, the more of a threat we pose. A cornered animal fights the fiercest... but that may be what we want. I'm willing to bet that it's avoiding a direct confrontation with us because it's weak in that area. Why else operate so covertly?
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As is the fact he's letting Zelgadis down. Again.
The rush of sheer self-disgust is borderline nauseating, brought on not only by his own weakness but by the acknowledgement of his own pathetic, selfish motivations. If he were a proper priest he'd be solely concerned with fulfilling his duties, not with winning back some portion of Zelgadis's esteem.
How egotistical. Rezo has the admiration and affection of thousands across the barrier lands, but Zelgadis's scorn still bothers him with the persistent pain of having a stone in his shoe.
But such psychological baggage is not something they should unpack. Not when they have a mazoku actively targeting them. Rezo frowns, forcing his thoughts to return to the problem at hand. ]
I believe you're correct. And if we intend to draw it out, it's more likely to appear at the spring where it has an edge.
[ But is this the right time to confront it? ]
I've made some progress with the patients at the inn, but they're still in poor condition overall. If I provide instruction, will you be able to assist with the magic treatments? [A hesitation, and then:] Or would you prefer we go after the mazoku immediately?
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Would Zelgadis like to save himself at the cost of this entire village?
It's tempting. Despite all appearances, he is only human at heart, with all the weakness that entails. If his curse is the same as the villagers', that's terrifying. Terrifying beyond reason. He doesn't want to suffer like that.
(The burning sensation has dulled, but it has also spread; he can feel it now in his chest and extremities.)
And he still believes it would be a mercy if some of the affected were allowed to die.
...But deep down he knows he wouldn't be able to make that argument without it being, to some degree, rationalization for an immensely selfish act. What about everyone that wants to live? Who are still clinging to hope?
If he went and killed that mazoku now, sacrificing all of these people, betraying them after promising to help... how could he say he's any different from Rezo?
Rezo's own hesitation speaks for itself. This is the selfish course of action.
But he's given Zelgadis the opportunity to take it. That is the part that is interesting. What Zel should make of that, he isn't sure.
Perhaps it's Rezo's way of saying that he values Zelgadis' life.
The silence is heavy as Zel weighs the options. ]
For now, we wait to confront the mazoku. I'll help you with the patients.
[ But if they wait too long...
Zel puts that thought out of mind. There is still time now, and they should make use of it. ]
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When Zelgadis does finally make his choice, it's a relief regardless to have the choice behind them. ]
Thank you. Let's return to the inn.
[ ...It's also a relief to have help with this part. Is that terrible of him? Zelgadis has barely gotten any rest, but the weary ache in Rezo's own limbs is impossible to deny. They may have to rest in shifts until they're able to see this through. Though even that can't start until Rezo's sure Zelgadis knows what he's doing.
The strained atmosphere of the inn has eased somewhat from when the two of them first entered the previous day, and a few of the patients look more lively than they did previously. Maud even had to be tied to her bed to prevent her from getting up and wearing herself out all over again. ]
Here, this girl is ready for treatment.
[ The patient they have next is a girl of about nine or ten years old. Rezo doesn't know her name. The innkeeper's too busy to ask. Rezo ushers Zelgadis into position beside the patient and takes the girl's hand, then reaches for Zelgadis's, intending to put the one in the other. ]
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"If you've only got a one percent chance of winning, but convince yourself you're going to lose, that one percent becomes zero percent."
Underneath that hotheadedness, Lina's always been strikingly wise. Whatever likelihood he and Rezo have of pulling this off, it's greater than zero percent.
He clasps the little girl's hand as its placed in his. It's so small. She's so frail. ]
We're going to get you better. I promise.
[ Now he has no excuses.
Heeding Rezo's instruction, he begins casting a healing spell. The dull ache in his body has become ignorable enough; less so the abrupt return of the burning sensation. He doesn't manage to stifle a grunt of pain. ]
--Bit my tongue.
[ It's a lie for the little girl's benefit, and an indirect way of telling Rezo to carry on as if nothing happened.
It's immediately clear to him what's going on: magic comes at the cost of pain.
He will grit his teeth and bear it. This child is far worse off and can't even communicate her suffering, can't so much as cry or complain as she has every right to.
But it does burn.
Then there's Rezo. He was working all through the night and then must have kept at it as Zelgadis slept. That's the only way this much progress could have been made so soon. If he goes and wears himself out, they're in even bigger trouble.
...Plus, it would bother him if Rezo got hurt. That could lead to getting killed.
Very few people ever get to come back to life. Nobody gets to do it a second time. The universe is not so generous.
Rezo can't die. Zel won't let him, not when he's finally giving a damn.
Zelgadis doesn't even want to acknowledge how much he has wanted that. It's mortifying.
This round of treatment concludes. The young girl is a long ways from fine, but she looks unmistakably healthier than she did before.
This pain will be worth it.
He addresses Rezo, grimacing when he hears the strain in his own voice. ]
I've gotten the hang of this. Leave the next patients to me.
[ Go rest, he can't manage to say.
He'll leave broaching the subject of "biting his tongue" to Rezo, should he want to ask. ]
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The incantation for the Resurrection spell is actually only slightly longer than the Recovery spell, but it requires you to siphon energy from your self and your surrounding environment. Start by focusing on your core...
[ It would be better if they had more greenery around but alas, one has to work with what one has. There's life force to be had in the healthy residents and in the earth itself, enough to eke out the magic they need.
Of course, that may be easier said than done for an inexperienced healer like Zelgadis. ]
-Eh?
[ Rezo frowns at the outburst, not bothering to hide his confusion and concern even if he picks up on the unspoken message to carry on. He walks Zelgadis through the rest of the spell, and part of his mind keeps mulling it over. Healing can be strenuous to those not accustomed to it- or to those who have expended their capacity. Zelgadis's capacity shouldn't be that low, since he's a chimera. But Zelgadis normally doesn't have a mazoku's curse upon him.
...Or maybe he's overthinking it and Zelgadis really did bite his tongue.
After the hum of magic has faded and the girl's breathing has evened out, they're theoretically ready to move on. Zelgadis, ambitious as ever, offers to do the rest on his own, but he sounds strained and Rezo's brow furrows. Though he tries to temper it with a smile. ]
Please, allow me to at least supervise the next few. It's better to be cautious.
[ If Rezo's worrying for nothing then there'll be no harm in staying nearby. But if something is wrong, he can at least be on hand to catch Zelgadis if he falls.
Hopefully a metaphorical fall, because if he tried with a literal one Zelgadis would probably knock him over like a tenpin.]no subject
...Sure. Alright.
[ He gives in, knowing he has neither the time nor energy to spare on arguing the point.
If he were one of these patients -- and he won't be -- he would prefer that the less experienced healer have some oversight, just in case.
If Rezo is here, he's going to notice that Zel's struggling more than he ought to be. The shame of that is one thing he wants to avoid. Just as bad, Rezo might then think he's unfit to continue.
But to delay the inevitable is irresponsible and pointless.
Without really thinking about it, he grabs Rezo by the shoulder to bring him closer, the way he would anyone else when he needs to not be overheard. ]
It's harder to cast magic now, but I can keep going.
[ Then with awkwardness that is nearly palpable, Zelgadis abruptly lets him go.
When's the last time he initiated physical contact without violent intent?
He's struggling to remember.
With haste that betrays self-consciousness, he says: ]
I'll treat the next patient.
[ A teenage boy, this time. The son of the innkeeper's friend, he seems to remember her saying.
Zel focuses on his core, braces himself, and begins the incantation.
It's no easier the second time. An intensive white magic spell he's unfamiliar with casting would be taxing under the best of circumstances; fatigue and the curse complicate the matter tenfold. ]
...show your great compassion to this person... and deliver them...
[ The strain is evident in his voice, but so is determination. ]
-- Resurrection!
[ This is the worst part, naturally. Where the magic flows, the curse sears alongside it.
When it's finally safe to, he's going to kill that mazoku deader than dead, and oh, he's going to enjoy it. Nothing wrong with revenge in and of itself.
Zel is breathing hard by the time Resurrection has been completed. His head is pounding, and he doesn't notice his nose is bleeding until he tastes copper in his mouth. ]
Oh, that's fantastic.
[ Rezo can't see what he's referring to, so he clarifies. ]
Spell worked. The kid's alright. Well -- better.
[ He wipes the blood off onto his sleeve. ]
Just -- noticed I've a nosebleed.
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Zelgadis...
[ Discontent, Rezo follows along and supervises the magic process for the next patient. The magic flows more or less as it should and the words of the incantation are spoken true, but with obvious difficulty. When the spell ends, the heavy sound of Zelgadis's breath is echoing in Rezo's ears, and then-
Rezo tilts his head. ]
What?
[ He catches the whiff of fresh blood a moment after Zelgadis clarifies, and he reaches into his cloak to rummage for something useful. ]
Oh. Lean forward. And- here.
[ He holds out a handkerchief (his cloak can store a surprising amount of things) so Zel hopefully will not have to wipe the blood off onto his sleeve, oblivious to the fact it's too late. ]
You'd better explain what's going on. Right now, it appears as if your magic is draining much faster than it should.
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Of all things.
Rezo might have earnestly thought that Zelgadis meant to attack him.
Without even trying to defend himself.
For a split second, Zelgadis feels like a bully.
Though blood is already smeared on his sleeve, he wordlessly accepts the handkerchief, holding it to his nose and leaning his head forward. Still bleeding, it seems.
Rezo wasn't happy that Zelgadis skirted past the details earlier. He won't be able to get away with being dodgy a second time. ]
...When I said it was harder to cast magic, what I meant was that it's painful. It's taking more out of me than it should.
[ He keeps his voice low.
No complaining where the patients can hear him. ]
I was going to power through it. I still plan to.
[ He doesn't want to amend that with an "if I can". It would be like admitting defeat.
He may be too stubborn for his own good. He knows it, even. If he's draining magic too quickly, that's serious.
Whatever the case, this is serious. If he needs to cast any healing magic on himself, he's almost certainly out of luck. ]
Don't tell me to call it quits here.
[ It's not a demand, but a request made in a quiet, measured tone. ]
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We don't know what the risks are. Besides the pain and the nosebleed, it could be doing other things to your body that we haven't noticed yet.
[ Rezo's not telling Zelgadis to call it quits; he isn't making any demands either. But it's hard for him to really be okay with the risk they're taking. Knowing that he's had Zelgadis take direr risks in the past doesn't help assuage the spike of tension. At the time, what other options had Rezo had?
Well. He could, hypothetically, screw over the village of Remedis instead.
But then, Rezo already asked Zelgadis about it earlier. If the effects of the curse made Zelgadis change his mind, then he could have said so.
Rezo's shoulders finally slump. ]
...Very well. I'll abide by your decision.
[ He feels wrung out, and he knows he shouldn't. If he didn't feel so tired so easily, this situation wouldn't be anywhere near as serious. But it is what it is. ]
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It's so hard to fathom that his grandfather is invested in his well-being. It doesn't feel real. Before he can convince himself not to, Zelgadis asks the question that's been weighing on his mind.
This is neither the time nor place, but he can't help himself. Like a scab he can't leave alone. ]
Why do you care what happens to me?
[ 'It's not like you', he would say, but the reality is that he doesn't know what is or isn't 'like' Rezo.
He thought he knew him, once: a kind and selfless sage. And then he thought again that he knew him: a selfish, obsessive bastard of a man.
There's truth in both of these impressions, but it doesn't paint any clearer a picture.
After all that's happened, who is Rezo now? Who -- what -- is Zelgadis to him? Family? A test subject? Something useful to have around?
He deserves to know, deserves to understand. ]
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a wizard is never late etc
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